New Jersey Moms Blog

The Slut List; Coming to a School Near You

Cross posted from our sister site, Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

The recent media attention given to Milburn High School (in New Jersey) makes it sound as if everyone is shocked by the un-covering of a "Slut List".  I'm disappointed and frustrated but no...I'm not shocked.  Why?
Because we live in a society that hyper-sexualizes girls as young as 11.  In fact, girls on the list were 13 and 14.   Because we live in an information age where old-style slam books look tame.   I digress...let me fill you in on the "list".

What was seen for over fifteen-years as a "rite of passage"; the "Slut List" was distributed on the first day of school.  The list targeted pretty, popular, incoming freshman girls . Among other things, Freshman girls were required to wear camouflage shirts. Whistles were blown in their ears. Some were pushed into lockers. This year’s list was generated at an August sleepover party of seniors involved in athletics

The New York Times obtained a copy of the infamous Millburn High School “slut list,” which is carefully typed, and signed “We Hate You All,” by “Seniors 2010.”

Please continue reading this post here on the Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

Homeless and mentally ill in San Francisco

I remember as a little girl, my parents would drive in to New York City from New Jersey.  Our car ride would take us through the Lincoln Tunnel, and the second we arrived in Manhattan, there would be a group of homeless men and women waiting to wash our car windows in return for some spare change.  I always felt anxious and stressed because I knew what was coming: My parents would get annoyed and immediately turn on their wipers to dissuade them from approaching our vehicle.  When I became a young adult, I began trekking in to the city by car and would have similar thoughts. I always hoped that no one would be there to wash my windows.  It was not because I didn't want to pay these men and women.  Being utterly honest, it saddened and scared me to the core to see homelessness.

I was a sheltered New-Jersey-burb-girl.  We didn't see homelessness and poverty in our hometown.  That was a problem for NYC and the inner cities.  Ignorance and blindness was bliss.  If you don't see it, it wasn't YOUR problem.

Now I am a Silicon Valley, Palo Alto Mom, and we certainly have our fair share of homelessness on University Ave.  We have our food banks and shelters and services (though lord knows, these services are probably hanging on by a life line) and we all seem to coexist.  For the most part. 

A few days a week, I am in San Francisco with my nine year old daughter.  We always take the same route in to San Francisco and we always see homeless people on the entrance ramps to the city.  We always see men and women holding up signs a begging for spare change.  Some are creative and add humor.  Some are simply desperate and need money for shelter.  We always see signs of homelessness where we park our car.  It is part of the norm.   It is expected.  There is absolutely no way to put on blinders in San Francisco.

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The Silicon Valley Moms Group Healthcare Town Hall Recap

These days, the topic on everyone's mind is healthcare.  You can't turn on the television, listen to the radio or pick up the newspaper without hearing of the latest "town hall" meeting or a new debate about healthcare reform in Washington, DC. Quite frankly, it is EXHAUSTING and CONFUSING!  On August 18-19, 2009, Silicon Valley Moms Group contributors added their voices to the fray.  Through written and video blogging, we shared our stories and opinions on this important topic. 

Here are the links to all the posts, and the wide variety of viewpoints they represented:

Silicon Valley Moms:

• Linda: Healthcare for a Dream Life
• Tina: The Questions of Healthcare
• Robyn: One Working Moms Take on the new Healthcare bill 
• Darryle: Two Hearts
• Nicole Peltin: Healthcare - the Dreaded Pre-Existing Conditions
• Erica Cosgrove: a Professor Mom Speaks Out
• Rox: the Business of America May Be Autos and Banks, but it Shouldn't Be Healthcare
• Sidney: Something Needs to Change
• Myrna: My Experience with the French Healthcare System
• Jill: The Stress of Being the Sandwich Generation
• Karianna: Autism is a Dirty Word in Healthcare
• David: Best Healthcare Plan: Diet, Exercise, and Cocktails
• Anna: Socialized Healthcare: What's in a Name

Chicago Moms

• Kim: Healthcare Reform Needed - Different Year, Same Story
• Jeanie: Food for Thought
• Melanie Myatt: Our Healthcare System is Broken
• Miss Lori Asks for Help - Healthcare Evolution
• Shannon Capanna: On July 27, 2009, We Became Part of the Problem
• Angela Allyn: My Healthcare Debate
• Susan: Healthcare is Bleeding Families and Small Businesses Dry

DC Metro Moms

• Sandie: My Mother's Story
• Sue: Healthcare Reform and Children with Chronic Conditions
• Jessica C. :Let Patients Get the Full Picture
• Jill Berry: My Healthcare Experience as a Foreign Student
• Amy Adams: Healthcare Reform is NOT a Race
• Michelle: What About the Children?
• De: We're Lucky We're Insured, But...
• Linda Kerr: Agree on All Points, Unsure of Direction
• Aimee Olivo: I Believe We Need Healthcare Reform Now
• KC: A Doctor in Support of Healthcare Reform
• Andrea Meyers: How Free Healthcare in Australia Saved Me
• Jim: Thoughts on Healthcare from a Federal Employee

New York City Moms

• Carol Cain: Calling Us Lucky, for Now
• Deborah Quinn: Define "Good Insurance"
• Helen P.: Healthcare Debate, An Overlooked Factor, I Think
• KarenTV: The Ultimate in FUD Manipulation
• Jennifer Perrillo: The Healthcare Missing Link: Relief for the Middle Class
• Jessica C: My Dirty Little Secret

New Jersey Moms

• c2mom: Want the Truth on Healthcare Reform? So Do I
• Lori Landau: Kids and Healthcare: Calculating the Costs
• Mary Kate: Does this Position Include Health Benefits?
• Vanessa Druckman: Growing Up Under the Blanket of Socialized Healthcare
• MT: The Cost of Autism and Healthcare in New Jersey
• Amber Watson-Tardiff: Healthcare and Homelessness: Stories from the Frontline

50-Something Moms

• Myrna: My Experience with the French Healthcare System
• Donna: What's So Scary About Socialized Medicine?
• Annie: Lying About Healthcare Reform

Deep South Moms

• Amy: We're Already Paying Too High a Price for Healthcare
• Marty: Broken

Los Angeles Moms

• Elizabeth Peterson:I Say No to Socialized Healthcare
• Florinda Pendley-Vasquez: Healthcare: Other People's Decisions
• Donna: What's So Scary about Socialized Medicine?
• April McCaffery: There is No There There
• Sarah Auerswald: Remote Area Medical: Los Angeles Heroes!

Canada Moms Blog

• Mary G.: Community Health Centres: A Good Health Care Answer
• Crunchy Carpets: Healthcare from a Socialist's Perspective
• Samantha: I'll Keep my Dilapitated aging "Nazi Socialist*" Healthcare System Over Yours Any Day
• Karen: Navigating Stormy Waters - My Thoughts on the US Healthcare System
• Jessica: An American Girl in Canada

Philadelphia Moms

• Cecily: Healthcare Reform, My Experience, Why We Need It
• Sarah: Healthcare Bill Needs Discussed, Debated, Deliberated

Rocky Mountain Moms

• Aviva: Not Political, Personal

3rd Annual SVmoms Summer Party

Cross posted from our sister blog, Chicago Moms Blog.

In coordination with Chicagonista, the SV Moms Group celebrated its 3rd Annual Summer Party in Chicago for the 2nd time around! There was so much laughter and fun shared with our missed bloggy friends and we could not thank our sponsors enough for making this happen.

Chris Campbell of Lakeshore Branding is our extraordinaire party planner and sponsor. Not only did he provide the beautiful party space at NV Penthouse Lounge, but the wonderful SVtinis and Chicagotinis were all provided by him. Lakeshore Branding also happens to be a “digital marketing agency that makes snazzy web sites and happens to be pretty darn good at Internet Marketing”. So if any of you are in need of some web help, he’s the man to call.

That’s Caring along with Tasty Catering provided the delicious food. That’s Caring also provided a couple of their eco- friendly gift baskets as drawing prizes.

Ring Central provided the trolley that chauffeured our bloggers back and forth to the Sheraton Hotel to the NV Penthouse Lounge and back.

Yahoo provided the Tarot Card Readings that was a big hit! Whether it made some laugh, cry, or worry, I’m sure they were all some great materials to blog about.

Smarty Card sponsored the much needed free massages. Imagine a mom without her kid/s. Partying with her girlfriends in a beautiful lounge. With martinis! And now massage?! Yes, it did happen.

Photobooth Express sponsored the most fun party within the photobooth party! They were the silliest, cutest, and funniest photobooth pictures of moms gone partying.  I've personally used this company in a lot of my events and I can't imagine not having them around to help me entertain my guests. And really, how can anyone go wrong with having one of these booths in any of your parties? An instant hit to all your party guests.

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MJ Tam is the Editor of Chicagonista.com - "movers, shakers, & baby makers" and Creator of City Connect Media, Inc. that runs and operates Chicagonista and other upcoming city sites. MJ also has a personal blog called SugarMyBowl.com

Do you Twitter? Follow mjtam here.

Moms, Celebrities and Twitter: the Video

Who's Following You on Twitter? @ Yahoo! Video

Cross posted from our sister blog, Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

It seems more then ever moms are using Twitter to share what they are doing and see what their friends are up to. Twitter is a service that allows people to share "what they are doing" in 140 characters, which keeps people brief. And if that is not enough, moms are sharing their pictures on Twitter using Twitpic and their stories on Whrrl.  Twitter adds to the list of the online social networking and blogging activities moms are doing during the short amount of time they have to themselves. But a guilty pleasure has also developed among many moms who follow Twitter: following celebrities. Following celebrities on Twitter and Twitpic gives me a chance to catch a glimpse of what they are up to on a daily basis. For example, I can view a picture of Demi Moore shoe shopping or see a glamorous dress she is wearing while I (unglamorously) fold laundry. I can also get a good laugh reading Twitter jokes by Heather McDonald, Chelsea Lately show and Jimmy Fallon. I can even follow a verified Twitter account for Barack Obama.

Jane Maynard from This Week for Dinner was a late-comer to Twitter and is still building up her celebrity list of followers (current tally is somewhere around zero). She shared this Twitter story with me:

"The highlight of my Twitter career thus far was when Hugh Grant started following me. Yes, THAT Hugh Grant...Actor/Writer/Producer/baked bean thrower. Okay, so maybe it wasn't really Hugh (who has since disappeared from Tweetland), but if Santa Claus is a follower, why can't Hugh Grant be one to? And, in case you're wondering, I did NOT follow Mr. Grant back."

I was thrilled to learn two of my favorite celebrities Jane Fonda and Katie Couric are not only blogging, but are on Twitter. After I followed Jane Fonda and Katie Couric I received a big surprise when they followed me back. It is this type of interaction that makes Twitter so addicting. Jane Maynard and I also share a fascination with looking at pictures posted on Twitter.

The Pitfalls of Parenting Kids in the Age of Smart Technology

Cross Posted from our sister blog, Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

Children and Pitfalls of technology @ Yahoo! Video

I have teenagers and when they were kids, Facebook didn't exist.  In fact, cell phones weren't cheap enough for kids to own until my kids were in Middle School.   I'm definitely learning on the job when it comes to technology use and parenting.  When the kids were in elementary school, there was no discussion or mention of technology in all the parenting books I read.   Oh sure, we had a computer but not all families did. It was more of a resource for the entire family. 

My concerns at that age almost completely dealt with inappropriate content exposure.  That was so much easier to control than what I have to deal with now.  Why?  Because it's out of MY hands and into THEIR hands. 

Read the rest of this post at Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

You're Invited! To a chicken pox party?

Now, I had to straitjacket my oldest during his vaccinations, and he still managed to clock a few male nurse technicians in the balls, so I know (and those technicians know), that shots are not fun. But still, "kookoo" was the word that most frequently popped into my head when I heard about folks who weren't vaccinating right along on schedule, as certainly (I thought) catching any of those nasty death-inspiring diseases like measles, mumps or rubella would threaten all of us a lot more that a hearty kick to the nut sack. Easy for me to say.

Plus, I'm a doctor's orders follower. And my kids' doctor handed me the schedule and said "vaccinate". And, my mother who works with autistic kids said "it's not the shots". Mother knows best. Just like Doctor. Right?

Click HERE to continue reading on our sister site, Silicon Valley Moms Blog.........

Mommy Bloggers' Liability for Product Reviews - Will It Cause a Chilling Effect?

Mommy bloggers are some of the most active participants in social marketing. Companies have been tapping into the social media power of mommy (and daddy) bloggers, because there is a certain authenticity and trusting relationship that develops between moms and their audiences...oh, and there is purchasing power too. After all, moms control the pursestrings in many households. It is not uncommon for marketers to reach out to moms in a very active way, sending them products for free to review and discuss - honestly and openly - on their blogs.

It is not news that social media - blogs, twitter, facebook - still lives in the real world and that defamation law and trademark rights and copyright protections and, yes, false advertising law still apply to these types of communicaitons. But there are many untested applications of law to social media. One of the newest facets of social media law is the consideration by the Federal Trade Commission of guidelines that would hold not only companies, but individual bloggers, liable for false statements made in connection with product reviews. There is a fear by advertisers that there will be a chilling effect on what bloggers write about products. And rightly so - false advertising is false advertising, wherever it takes place. However, don't forget that bloggers are very vocal. Writing is What. They. Do. I'm not so sure this business is going away. 

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING ON SILICON VALLEY MOMS BLOG......

What Did This Silicon Valley Mom Receive For Her 40th Birthday? An Arrest Warrant from New Jersey

....cross posted from our sister site, Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

A month ago, I received notice from the California DMV that I need to take my written test again.  I assumed that it was because I was turning 40.  Makes sense.... they want to make sure I still knew the rules of the road. So this past week I went online, studied and felt prepared to go in this morning and take my written test.

I even put on some makeup (wanted a nice d/l picture), dropped the kids off early to school and drove over the Redwood CIty DMV.  The line was light (score!), got out my checkbook, my soon-to-be-expired drivers license and waited for my number to be called.  I felt good...  Within a few minutes, my name was announced and I approached the counter.  I started to chat with the DMV customer service representative (who was very kind and pleasant) and asked why at forty, did I need to take the written test?

Her response:  You only need to take the written test if there is something on your record.

Now let me be the first to confess.  A few years ago, I got a ticket for not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign.  Yes, I am guilty as charged.  I was in a rush and did not fully stop.  I apologized to the officer, paid my ticket and thought that was the end of it.... or so I thought.

Then her face tuned sallow, and she kindly said:  "Ms. Asher, you need to contact the New Jersey DMV. Apparently, there is an unpaid ticket from 1992 and.... there is a warrant out for your arrest".

OMFG!!!!!! A WARRANT?  FOR ME???  FROM 1992?????  WHAT DID I DO?????  HOLY SHIT!!!!

CLICK HERE TO CONTINUE READING ON SILICON VALLEY MOMS BLOG.......

Maria Shriver - Redefining Good Girlfriend Moves

Balancing it all @ Yahoo! Video

Representing Silicon Valley Moms Blog, I recently had the honor of chatting one-on-one with California First Lady Maria Shriver about the CA Legacy Trail.  We talked about motherhood and balancing our hectic lives.  Having watched her on television for years and having been privy to an intimate gathering of SVMB bloggers, I felt like she was a girlfriend I saw once a year.  I knew she was smart, approachable and an interview pro, so I was able to do the interview without throwing up from nerves. (Besides, I was dazzled by her shiny white teeth.) If you have read any of Maria's books, you know that she is the real deal.  The kind of woman who tells you like it is and won't sugar coat it.   The kind that is determined, has fought for her accomplishments and is not hesitant to put the spotlight on issues for which she cares deeply.   

It is not surprising that she has partnered with the California Museum to launch the CA Legacy Trail project.  Even if you are not from California, you MUST check out this new website.  Basically, through video and text you can hear stories of CA's amazing women - from  acclaimed novelist Amy Tan to civil rights activist Dolores Huerta.  These women have or are currently breaking barriers and making a difference in California and throughout the world.  Wanting to tear the walls down of a traditional museum, the project highlights "Only in California" experiences.    As a blogger and a mama, I am also excited to see that there is feature that allows you to upload our own stories, which will be part of this repository.   The museum invites us all to redefine CA history by putting a face on our stories - by telling the stories of mothers, sisters, artists, scientists, technology giants and activists.   My 4th grader is learning CA history - this site does a fantastic job of telling the story of our history beyond missions and the Gold Rush - all in way that dwarfs any text book.  It is well worth the visit.

CLICK HERE to continue reading on Silicon Valley Moms Blog.....