One and Done, Two and Through, What's it to you?

I am the mother of three strapping boys.  One that is my natural child and two that are mine from my husband's first marriage.  Although I did not give birth to those children or carry them for nine excruciating months (I am not a happy pregnant person) I love those children no differently than I love my natural son.

What is mind boggling to me is the many questions I get about when I am having another or the unsolicited advice from other mothers that holding a newborn is catching or my son should have a brother.  My son does have brothers, two to be exact.  He actually thinks he has three brothers because we have his cousin at our house so often I am claiming him on my taxes this year.

When I am confronted with these questions or statement, I usually laugh and say "Ha! One and done. I am a miserable pregnant person."  I would like to tell them that I spent the better part of 9 months crying, depressed and so nasty that my husband called me the devil's wife, among other things but this a family blog.  I want to let the inquisitive, concerned citizens know that I do not want to take my mood out on my three children when I am pregnant.

Most importantly I was 36 when I had my son.  He was 11 pounds, one ounce and from what I hear each baby after the first tends to get bigger.  I do not want to give birth to a two year old!  I am now 39 (in a few short days), my chances of getting pregnant are slimmer and I have other health concerns for me and a baby to worry about.  At 35 I was considered a high risk pregnancy because of my age. 

I feel blessed to have the three children I do.  I never thought I would have any after my first husband decided he didn't want to be married.  Imagine my surprise when 14 months later I was delivering my son with my new husband.  It was a blessing that I was lucky to meet a man with two children who gave me one more.

Perhaps people should think before they speak.  Yes, people are just making conversation but sometimes it puts the other person in an uncomfortable position no matter how nice they seem when they answer you.  In other words, when you hear the reply "One and done," smile politely, nod your head and say "Ah, ok!"

This is an original post to the New Jersey Moms Blog, Meghan can be found muttering at Meghan's Mindless Mutterings.